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Resource Books and Videos
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End-of-Life Issues
Coming of Age with Aging Parents: The
Bungles, Battles, and Blessings
by
Gail Goeller (Paperback - 2004)
Author
and hospice volunteer Gail Goeller shares the beauty and
challenges of family caregiving in her witty and
sensitive book, Coming of Age with Aging Parents.
A must-read for anyone caring for an older loved one,
its real-life stories portray everything from dealing
with late-night phone calls and parental self-diagnosis
to managing angry outbursts, emergencies of all sorts,
caregiver burnout and end-of-life requests. To order,
click here.
The Art of Dying: How to Leave This World
with Dignity and Grace,
At
Peace with Yourself and Your Loved Ones
by
Patricia Weenolsen and Bernie S. Siegel (Paperback -
October 1997)
The Art of Dying offers much
information, including very practical information, for
dealing with the end of life, most of which focus
primarily on the spirituality of dying, and
communicating with loved ones before you die.
At Home With
Terminal Illness: A Family Guide To Hospice In The Home
by
Michael Appleton
(Paperback - April 1994)
This unique,
easy-to-use guide is organized alphabetically and covers
all topics of concern for the caregiver of a terminally
ill patient being cared for at home. Written in plain,
simple English, this book contains no medical jargon to
confuse the lay person.
Dying Well:
Peace and Possibilities at the End of Life
by
Ira Byock M.D.
(Paperback - March
1998)
Dying Well brings
readers to the homes and bedsides of families with whom
Dr. Byock has worked, telling stories of love and
reconciliation in the face of tragedy, pain, and
conflict.
Final Gifts: Understanding the
Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying
by
Maggie Callanan (Paperback - March 1997)
Impressive insights into the experience of dying, offered by two hospice
nurses with a gift for listening. The ``final gifts'' of the title are
the comfort and enlightenment offered by the dying to those attending
them, and in return, the peace and reassurance offered to the dying by
those who hear their needs.
Handbook for Mortals: Guidance
for People Facing Serious Illness
by
Joanne Lynn, M.D. and Joan Harrold. M.D. (Paperback - September 2001)
Written for caregivers as well as the
dying, Handbook for Mortals is
an excellent resource for anyone facing the end of life. Warmly
addressed to all those who wish to approach the final years of life with
greater confidence and how to make the end of our lives a time of
growth, comfort, and meaningful reflection. Readers will learn what
decisions they need to face, what choices are available to them, where
to look for help, how to ease pain and other symptoms, what to expect
with specific diseases, how the health-care system operates, and how the
entire experience affects dying persons, their families, and their
friends. Filled with
personal stories of how people have come to terms with dying, faced
their fears, and made their choices.
The Four Things That Matter Most:
A Book About Living
by
Ira Byock M.D.
(Free Press - March
2004)
Powerful real-life stories culled from Dr. Byock’s and other
counselors’ patients who used the Four Things in all sorts of life
situations show the possibility of interpersonal healing and wholeness,
even in the wake of tragedy or the face of death.
The Needs of the Dying: A Guide
for Bringing Hope, Comfort, and Love to Life's Final Chapter
by
David Kessler (Paperback - October 2000)
Personal stories are intertwined with practical suggestions, and
specific instances are frequently used to illustrate techniques,
processes, and the importance of telling your story, rather than
assuming your family already knows it. Kuhl focuses particularly on
coming to terms with one's past. Discussions of family histories,
lifelong priorities, and difficult choices are emphasized as tools for
making peace among family members and with one's own conscience.
The daily life of pain management and
support groups is also covered in detail, and Kuhl offers plenty of
suggestions on how to begin that difficult conversation in which death
is first acknowledged as a rapidly approaching fact. Written for
patients and caregivers as well as friends and family, this useful guide
will help everyone involved navigate the twists and turns of terminal
illness.
Talking about Death Won't Kill
You
by
Virginia Morris (Hardcover - September 10, 2001)
Morris (How To Care for Aging Parents, LJ 4/1/96) makes a good point: it
is better to learn about death and discuss end-of-life issues with
family and friends before terminal illness or tragedy strikes. Unlike
other writers on the subject, she does not cover basic care of the dying
or the stages of dying and bereavement, instead discussing in simple
language such issues as life-prolonging medical procedures, the
necessity of creating legal documents giving instructions for final
care, how to visit and relate to dying people, and how to talk to
children about death. Throughout, stories of families and individuals
are related to illuminate how to make decisions regarding death and
dying.
Bereavement, Grief and Loss - Adults
Being
a Widow
by
Lynn Caine (Paperback - January 1990)
This book provides solace, guidance, and direction for widows. Drawing
from her own experiences, Caine outlines practical suggestions for
coping with the devastating loss: finding a confidant; turning to
bereavement counseling; helping children adjust through strategies she
suggests. Throughout, she emphasizes the need for each woman to rebuild
her shattered life in her own way.
The Bereaved Parent
by
Harriet Sarnoff Schiff (Paperback - Nov 1978)
Many parents feel that no one can help because no one can understand the
complex ramifications of their tragedy - the exhaustion, the quarrels
with mates, the sleeplessness, the panic, the inertia, the horror of
laughter. The book will convince you that you can find your way back to
the land of the living.
The Courage to Grieve
by Judy Tatelbaum
(Paperback - October 1984)
Judy Tatelbaum gives
us a fresh look at understanding grief, showing us that grief is a
natural, inevitable human experience, including all the unexpected,
intense and uncomfortable emotions like sorrow, guilt, loneliness,
resentment, confusion, or even the temporary loss of the will to live.
The emphasis is to clarify and offer help, and the tone is spiritual,
optimistic, creative and easy to understand. Judy Tatelbaum provides
excellent advice on how to help oneself and others get through the
immediate experience of death and the grief that follows, as well as how
to understand the special grief of children. Particularly useful are the
techniques for completing or "finishing" grief--counteracting the
popular misconception that grief never ends.
The Courage to Grieve shows us how to live life with the ultimate
courage: not fearing death. This book is about so much more than death
and grieving…it is about life and joy and growth.
Don’t Take Away My Grief: What
To Do When You Lose a Loved One
by
Doug Manning (Paperback - September 1984)
Gently, with warm, consoling, and practical guidance, Doug Manning
addresses the painful, often disorientation aftermath of the death of a
loved one, helping the bereaved cope with the emotions and confront the
decisions that are an inevitable part of this time of radical life
adjustment. Beginning with the premise that "grief is not an enemy; it
is a friend. It is the natural process of walking through the hurt and
growing through the walk," Manning helps readers face up to grief, move
through it, and learn to live again.
The Grief Recovery Handbook
by
John W. James and Russell Friedman
(Paperback - June 1998)
The authors illustrate what grief is and how it is possible to recover
and regain energy and spontaneity. Offer specific actions needed to
complete the grieving process and accept loss.
Good Grief: A Constructive
Approach to the Problem of Loss
by
Granger E. Westberg (Paperback - June 1979)
This book describes what happens to us
whenever we lose someone or something important. We all need a better
understanding of the small griefs in life as well as those larger grief
experiences that can overwhelm us. Examines the stages of grief, from
stage one -- a state of shock -- to stage ten -- a struggle to affirm
reality.
How It Feels When a Parent Dies
by
Jill Krementz (Paperback - October
2000)
In this moving and insightful book, children speak openly, honestly, and
unreservedly about their feelings and experiences after losing a parent.
This book heals young people with its reality, with the variety of
experiences and feelings presented, with its loving approach to the
feelings they have felt but feared no one else had ever felt.
How To Go On Living When Someone
You Love Dies
by
Therese Rando (Paperback - July 1991)
Whether the death was sudden or expected, from accident, illness,
suicide, homicide, or natural causes, this book will help you learn to:
Understand and resolve your grief; Talk to your children about death;
Resolve unfinished business; Take care of yourself; Accept the help and
support of others; Get through holidays and other difficult times of the
year; Plan funerals and personal bereavement rituals.
Hope for Bereaved:
Understanding, Coping, and Growing Through Grief
by Therese S. Schoeneck
(Paperback - Jan 2001)
Written by bereaved
people for bereaved people who have experienced the death of an infant,
child, spouse, parent, sibling, relative or friend by accident, illness
including AIDS, murder and suicide. It contains realistic, helpful
articles. Relatives, friends and professionals gain insights about grief
and learn ways of reaching out to the bereaved.
Living When a Loved One Has Died
by
Earl A. Grollman (Paperback - June 1995)
Explains what emotions to expect when mourning, what pitfalls to avoid,
and how to work through feelings of loss. Suitable for pocket or
bedside, this gentle book guides the lonely and suffering as they move
through the many facets of grief, begin to heal, and slowly build new
lives.
Recovering
From the Loss of a Sibling
by
Katherine Fair Donnelly, Paperback -
November 2000)
A book for those of all ages suffering the loss of a sister or
brother. It addresses the many questions, fears and feelings of
surviving siblings of all ages, such as: Will this soon happen to me? It
should have been me. Why wasn't it? God must have punished me for the
time when I was so mean to my brother. My sister was my parents'
favorite and I don't seem to count to them. At work, they have no idea
what I'm going through. They think I'm just a sibling. All the focus is
on my parents, not my grief.
Remembering With Love: Messages
of Hope for the First Year of Grieving and Beyond
by
Elizabeth Levang (Paperback - June 1995)
The short 1-2 page essays and thoughts, intended to be a "thought for
today" format, are especially helpful for people who, because they are
grieving, may not be able to focus on longer books, for longer periods
of time.
Understanding
Grief: Helping Yourself Heal
by Alan D. Wolfelt (Paperback
July 1992)
This classic resource
helps guide the bereaved person through the loss of a loved one, and
provides an opportunity to learn to live with and work through the
personal grief process. The many written exercises in the book can be
tough to work through, but they are healing. You could easily skip all
the exercises and find comfort in reading the text alone. Also, very
helpful in understanding and dealing with people who expect you to just
"pick up the pieces" and get on with life right after the funeral. The
book makes the point that Western society in general is guilty of
encouraging those of us who mourn to cut our grieving process short.
When Parents Dies; a Guide for
Adults
by
Edward Myers (Paperback - March 1997)
A practical guide for
coping with the loss of a parent, this book was written by a journalist
who has lost both. Edward Myers makes it clear that no matter how old we
are, the death of a parent can be devastating, evoking intense and
complex feelings that have long-lasting implications. Comprised of
advice from therapists, practices for self-help groups and first-person
accounts, Myers covers the grieving process and differentiates between
the impact of sudden death and slow decline. He also offers advice for
funeral planning, dividing personal property and resolving feelings such
as guilt, shame and isolation.
Bereavement, Grief and Loss -
Children
Children and Grief: When a Parent Dies
by J. William Worden
(Hardcover - December
2001)
Worden goes beyond simply sharing the results of a longitudinal
study, which in itself would be helpful. He also identifies those most
at risk, and discusses models for intervention. This book is a must
read' for anyone in the field of childhood bereavement.
Children Die Too
by Joy
Johnson (Paperback - June 1992)
For newly bereaved parents needing general grief information. Includes:
Feelings, Your Other Children, Grandparents, Friends, Single Parents and
Step-Parents, Taking Care of Yourself, and Searching.
The
Dying & The Bereaved Teenager
by John
D. Morgan (Paperback - November 1990)
Description Not Available
Helping Children
Cope With the Loss of a Loved One: A Guide for Grownups
by William C. Kroen
(Paperback - March 1996)
Dr. William Kroen offers sound advice, comfort and compassion to any
adult helping a child cope with death. Weaving in anecdotes about real
children and their families, he explains how children from infancy
through age 18 perceive and react to death and offers suggestions for
how to respond to children at different ages and stages. Specific
strategies are offered to guide and support them through the grieving
process.
How Do We Tell the Children?: A
Step-by-Step Guide
for Helping Children Cope When Someone
Dies, Third Edition
by Dan Schaefer PhD, et al (Hardcover - February 2002)
Now in its third edition, this classic guide is expanded and updated to
feature new material on dealing with trauma and devastation, addressing
violence in schools, helping grandparents cope as caregivers, and an
enlarged quick-reference "Crisis Section" with scripts, answers, and
messages for young ones.
Recovering from the
Loss of a Child
by
Katherine Fair Donnelly (Paperback - April 2001)
When a child dies, the pain and shock can seem unbearable. But in
sharing, understanding, and accepting this tragic loss, emotional
recovery is possible. This book shows bereaved parents, siblings, and
others how to cope with one of life's cruelest blows. With inspiring
firsthand accounts from others who have survived this heartbreaking
experience, this compassionate and reassuring volume can help in healing
the heart--and learning to live again.
Talking about Death : A Dialogue
Between Parent and Child
by Earl A. Grollman (Paperback
- September 1991)
Why do people die? How do you explain the loss of a loved one to a
child? This book is a compassionate guide for adults and children to
read together, featuring a read-along story, answers to questions
children ask about death, and a comprehensive list of resources and
organizations that can help.
Books for Children and Teens
A Taste of Blackberries
(ages 9 - 12)
by Doris
Buchanan Smith (Paperback - May 1992)
In Smith's moving story, a prank ends in tragedy, and a boy must
learn to live not only with the loss of a friend, but with the feeling
that he could have prevented it.
Amos and Boris
(ages 4 - 8)
by
William Steig (Paperback
- September 1992)
Amos and Boris is a distillation of all the great themes of life:
friendship, courage, spiritual ecstasy, the question of an afterlife
("Would his soul go to heaven? Would there be any mice there?"),
altruism and love.
Charlotte's Web
(ages 9 -12)
by E. B.
White (Paperback reprint - April 1999)
"Charlotte's Web" is a masterful blend of whimsy, humor, gentle
satire, and life-and-death drama. But above all, it is a powerful story
of friendship.
The Dead Bird (ages 4 - 8)
by Margaret Wise Brown
(Hardcover - March 2003)
Finding a still warm but dead bird, a group of children give it a
fitting burial and every day, until they forget, come again to the woods
to sing to the dead bird and place fresh flowers on its grave. An
excellent handling of the subject of death in which all young children
have a natural interest.
Everett Anderson’s Goodby
(baby to
pre-school)
by Lucille Clifton
(Paperback Reprint edition - June 1988)
A simple, poetic
telling of Everett Anderson's feelings as he copes with and accepts the
fact of his father's death."--Childhood Education. Coretta ScottKing
Award; NCTE Teacher's Choice; Reading Rainbow Feature.
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf
(ages 4 - 8)
by Leo Buscaglia
(Hardcover: 20th Anniversary Edition - August
2002)
This story is a warm, wonderfully wise,
and strikingly simple story about a leaf named Freddie--how Freddie and
his companion leaves change with the passing seasons, finally falling to
the ground with winter's snow.
Fig Pudding (ages
8 - 12)
by
Ralph Fletcher (Paperback - October 1996)
In an heartwarming tale that explores the challenge of coping with
death, eleven-year-old Cliff, the eldest of the six children in his
exuberant, loving family, recounts an eventful year.
Hope for the Flowers (all ages)
by Trina
Paulus (Paperback - May 1973)
This book gives the reader an instant dose of inspiration. It is so
filled with joy, hope and the power of perseverance, that it is easier
to read than to describe. A perfect book for anyone dealing with
anything at anytime.
How It Feels When a Parent Dies
(ages 7 - 17)
by
Jill Krementz (Paperback - October
2000)
In this moving and insightful book, children speak openly, honestly,
and unreservedly about their feelings and experiences after losing a
parent. This book heals young people with its reality, with the variety
of experiences and feelings presented, with its loving approach to the
feelings they have felt but feared no one else had ever felt.
Losing Uncle Tim (ages
4 - 8)
by
Marykate Jordan (Paperback - December 1989)
Daniel tells about his friendship with his uncle and about how he learns
that his uncle is dying from AIDS.
Love You Forever (ages 4 - 8)
by Robert N. Munsch (Paperback
- April 1988)
Love You Forever is a favorite
among young children and adults alike. This is a story of a mother's
love for her child as he goes through the stages of growing up. The most
beautiful part of the story is when the child, all grown up - and his
mother is old and frail - cares for her in the same way.
Mick Harte Was Here (ages
9 - 12)
by
Barbara Park (Paperback - August 1996)
With love, wit, and anger, 13-year-old
Phoebe Harte describes her brother, Mick, and the effect his death has
on the family. It is a bike accident that kills Mick, and Park does an
excellent job of capturing the shock and dissociation that a sudden
death can cause in survivors.
Missing May
(ages 9 - 12)
by Cynthia Rylant (Paperback Reprint
edition October 1993)
Summer was a 6-year-old orphan when she met the aunt and uncle who
took her home to be their child forever. Six years later when her aunt,
May, dies, Summer must find her way alone through the stunned grief both
she and her uncle carry inside.
The Missing Piece (ages 4 - 8)
by Shel Silverstien (Hardcover - March 1976
What the circle finds on its search for the missing piece is simply
and touchingly told in a fable that gently probes the nature of quest
and fulfillment.
On Call Back Mountain (ages 4 - 8)
by
Eva Bunting (Library Binding - March 1997)
Adoring old Bosco, a fire watchman on Call Back Mountain, two boys are
saddened when their friend dies but are comforted when they glimpse a
running wolf that helps them realize that people who love the land will
return to it.
Remembering Grandad: Facing
Up to Death
(ages 4 - 8)
by
Gianni Padoan (Hardcover - December 1990)
Promotes the process of inquiry and leads to a feeling of
involvement by inclusion of questions or statements directed at the
reader. Stimulates children to clarify their viewpoint and to approach
these situations objectively. Stories easily relate to child's world and
thus become meaningful.
The Saddest Time (ages
4 - 8)
by Norma
Simon (Paperback - April 1992)
The Saddest Time is a great resource to use with children
that are dealing with both the potential and eventual loss of someone
they care about. There are three short stories in this book. The first
one deals with the loss of what appears to be a middle aged uncle, the
second the unexpected and accidental death of a young child, and the
third the dying and death of an older person, in this case the
grandmother.
Tiger Eyes
(young adult)
by
Judy Blume (Paperback - August 1982)
After Davey's father is killed in a hold-up, she and her mother and
younger brother visit relatives in New Mexico. Here Davey is befriended
by a young man who helps her find the strength to carry on and conquer
her fears.
When a Friend Dies:
(young adult)
A Book for Teens About Grieving
& Healing
by
Marilyn E. Gootman (Paperback - January 1994)
A simple book, just the right length, that answers all the questions
teens have at this difficult time... plus the questions they are too
scared to ask. With quotes from other teens, feelings and facts,
permission to feel, to cry, to be scared, and most importantly,
permission to go on.
Whisper from the Woods
(ages 5 - 12)
by
Victoria Wirth, (Hardcover - October 1991)
A gentle story about the relationship between a wise old tree and
the young seedlings in the forest. After supporting the young trees
growing up beside him for years with his love and wisdom, the wise old
tree falls one stormy night and has to rely on the others. Victoria
Wirth's passionate telling and A. Scott Banfill's breathtaking paintings
create a moving story about the importance of relationships and the
cycle of life.
You Take the High Road (young adult)
by Mary
K. Pershall (Hardcover - April 1990)
Samantha, 15, believes that everything good has left the world when
her baby brother dies. Sam had anticipated Nicholas's arrival every bit
as much as her parents had, and witnessing his birth was like
experiencing a miracle. With the help of new friends and a sensitive
teacher, Sam begins to cope with her despair, but life at home remains
difficult. Only by recognizing that change is inevitable does the girl
come to understand the nature of loss and her parents' reactions.
Videos
A Land Before Time
- Children
A cartoon about a baby dinosaur’s loss and grief.
An Early Frost
- Adult
A successful lawyer son comes home to make peace with his mother and
disgusted, confused father who cannot reconcile himself to his son's gay
lifestyle. A stark, wintry movie, its title a metaphor for a life cut
short.
Charlotte’s Web
- Children
Charlotte's Web is a masterful blend of whimsy, humor,
gentle satire, and life-and-death drama. But above all, it is a powerful
story of friendship.
I Heard the Owl Call My Name
- adult
A film of a young vicar named Mark, sent to a remote Kwakiutl village
not knowing he has less than three years to live. Mark becomes a part of
the Kwakiutl world, learning its language and ways, and learns valuable
lessons about life, death, and the transforming power of love.
On Golden Pond
- adult
Visiting his summer house by a Maine lake with his wife (Katharine
Hepburn), the old man forges an unlikely bond with a lonely boy, comes
to terms with his daughter (Jane Fonda), and suffers disorienting
effects of mild dementia. The film addresses family conflict in a
non-threatening way.
Philadelphia
- adult
In this film, Tom Hanks is a gay lawyer who is unjustly fired by his
firm because he has AIDS. Denzel Washington is another lawyer who
reluctantly takes the case and learns to overcome his misconceptions
about the disease, about those who contract it, and about gay people in
general.
Tuesdays with Morrie
- adult
After seeing his favorite college professor, Morrie Schwartz, on
"Nightline," Albom discovered his long lost professor and friend is
terminally ill. During their visits (every Tuesday) Morrie addresses
concerns and solutions to a variety of issues including religion,
family, embarrassment, relational discomfort, death of a loved one, and
the process of dying. The humor throughout helps to balance the sadness
of this real life story.
Letting Go - Adult
Final Blessings
- Adult
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This page last updated
April 12, 2007
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